2) Joy is vigorously playing in nothing but socks in the backyard for at least a quarter hour before your mother discovers your underpants hanging on the doorknob and freaks out. She demands you put on your manties which seriously infringes on your belief in personal freedom.
3) Comment loudly (over the rude shushing noises all the adults are suddenly making) about how unbelievably bald/fat/old your neighbor is while he weeds his lawn ten feet away. You're supposed to be observant, right? I mean, you have spent four years answering questions like "what does a cow say?" to applause and accolades. Why censor your brilliance now?
Happy Mother's Day!