Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Impermanence


I've been thinking about impermanence lately. Specifically, how the philosophy of constant change presents itself to me more frequently than I can ignore. This is the most holy week for Christians and while I have been immersed in the pagan fertility rituals like egg dying and bunny drawing, the crosses draped in purple cloth keep catching my eye. As a child I didn't like Easter much. Having to sit through the entire stations of the cross, especially the crucifixion, still freaks me out inside. Then came the dreaded fancy dress up for Mass on Easter Sunday. I look forward to any opportunity to wear dressy clothes now that my wardrobe consists entirely of "jeans" and "date jeans". My child self though, she hated getting dressed up.

Anyway, past issues, memories, and emotional baggage are, according to practitioners of impermanence, just that: past. Gone, finished, over. This moment is all you have, this moment is all that matters. Worrying about the future? Don't bother, it will come regardless. Stuck in the past? Let go of the ropes, it does not exist except in your mind. Shelve the hurts and welcome the new moment free of judgement. I know, much easier said than done, but no thing worth doing is easy. I realized I am worth the hard work and so are you. My lesson in impermanence came from a weed that I had cursed and blamed for making my yard look bad until the next day when my daughter picked these perfect flowers from that weed's stems, set them on my knitting and exclaimed, " here Mom, I brought you a gift." Oh, if only she knew.

Christians will be celebrating the change Jesus underwent, the Buddhists will be contemplating the change of seasons in the dew on a leaf, and I will be looking at this picture of that moment, already gone, when I changed a little, when I remembered to prepare myself for the day I too will bloom.

5 comments:

Christie said...

Love this. You've definitely given me something to think about and reflect on. As always, it came right when I needed it.

Thanks!

Marmee said...

Heather,
That was incredible. I loved it. You have a way with words that is admirable and your way of thinking is spot on!!!

Shawna said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Heather's Mom said...

I too agree, that was incredible. You never cease to amaze me! I am so looking forward to our dress up outing this weekend with the little angel who gave you the perfect flowers!

the Lady said...

Quel beau photo!